Jaywalking

I will never apologize 

or pay the fine

or text back

or show gratitude 

or smile on command

I’m too old for homework 

too tall to ride a pony 

too rich to pay taxes

too parched to floss

too sloped to make eye contact

and one day I will crawl out of my own ass

and leave you an unhinged voicemail 

without looking both ways